Deadset you guys, I think I have been more adulty in the past few weeks than I have ever been in my entire adulty life to date and honestly... I've never felt like such a phoney.
I half expect to look in the mirror and see a little person staring back at me, a little person all dressed up in her mum's high heels with a face full of blue eyeshadow and red lippy, a dozen strings of pearls hanging around her neck and a glow mesh Oroton slung over her shoulder.
Except I don't see that... partly because you will never see me in heels 'cause I can't walk in them to save my life.
Instead I just see me.
All 40 something years of me.
OK, so I know that in theory, getting married, having kids and buying a home are all very adult things to do and have done, but the past few weeks have upped the stakes and have seen me and the hubby dealing with car accidents and insurance companies, finance brokers and commercial real estate agents, super fund experts and financial advisors, doctors and grown up tests and grown up waits for diagnosis of grown up medical conditions.
That's a whole lot of grown up stuff.
To top it all off there has been that family situation that has demanded of me; sensitivity, patience, common sense (all very adulty kind of traits) and not to mention a bottle of hair dye to cover up the rapidly appearing (adultish) greys.
Throughout it all, I've just been standing here waiting for a proper adult to walk into the room and say "It's all good Sonia, the adults will take it from here", but that adult has failed to turn up and so I am forced to be as adulty as my non adulty heart can fake.
You see in my head I am still somewhere between 16 and 25 years old and not a day older.
I think my brain kind of stopped ageing some time about 20 odd years ago but my body and my life just went full steam ahead not even realising that my mind was standing back there waving it's hands going "hey.... HEY... did you forget something" and now suddenly, here I am pretending to be an adult in a big old adult world.
I might look the part, but inside I'm feeling like a scared shitless teenager taking the wheel for the first time... and quite frankly I miss the ease of just being a kid.
Yesterday I woke up with an overwhelming urge to rebel and do the most unadulty thing I could possibly do.
Well, not quite the most unadulty thing, but as unadulty as I could manage to pull off given I had 3 kids in tow.
And so I did this...
I KNOW RIGHT???!!!
Who am I?
What, why.... I have no idea!
The thing was, as I was sat there in the chair with a stick of Betadine shoved up my nose, the kids had their phones stuck in my face ready to film me and the nice lady was waiting to stab a hole in my nose, and the first thought that came into my mind was "Oh shit, what will my parents say?"
Here I am a parent myself doing something very unparent like in front of my OWN kids and I am worried about what MY parents would think???
It felt good.
Like RIDICULOUSLY deliciously good to metaphorically stick my finger up at adulthood and let my mind act it's age for once... well the age it thinks it is.
And so that's how I came to have a nose piercing. A completely random, out of character and so not adulty nose piercing... and I luuuuurve it.
P.S so um Mum and Dad... *cough cough* what do you think? Dare I ask?
How old are you in your head?
Ever done anything to purposely NOT act your age?
Header Image source: UnSplash
Hemorrhoids, Zappos and Mummy Meltdowns