Winter Schminter; Love it or Leave it? | Life Love and Hiccups: Winter Schminter; Love it or Leave it?
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Tuesday 20 June 2017

Winter Schminter; Love it or Leave it?

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When people tell me that they love winter, I kind of want to stab my eyeballs out with the sharp end of a severely charcoaled marshmallow roasting stick.

I should make a point of saying,  just in case you happen to be a devoted winter lover... it's not you... it's totally all me.

You see, in my world, winter sort of sucks bulls balls.

I have all these romantic ideas of winter and they are beautifully bound up into something like one of those special coffee table books people often have on display... only my pictures are in my head rather than laid out on the coffee table.

Think crackling fireplaces (fireplaces that don't actually make the house smell of smoke), big chunky cable knit jumpers (the type that won't make me look like a hippo wrapped in a ton of Cotton wool), and fluffy mittens clutching hot cups of cocoa under the twinkly lights (cocoa of course because I'm pretty sure that a king size tin of Nesquik wouldn't feature in a fancy coffee table book).

Come to think of it... I think I may have pinched all of my idealistic winter ingredients straight out of a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie or something.

Sounds pretty darn cosy though right?

I should probably mention that I usually start putting that romantic winter picture book together waaaaayyyy back in January, when the weather is like fifty zillion degrees, when the ice in my cup melts so damn quickly that it dilutes my G&T faster than I can drink it, and at night when I am doing to the muggy night toss to the beat of my hubby's mozzy slapping.

I can totally see why people fall in love with the idea of winter, it's just that it never quite lives up to my expectations.

Come winter, my bones are aching, the kids wobble somewhere between feral because they are bored with being cooped up and feral because they have miserable colds from running around in no clothes in minus 100 temps (modest exaggeration duly noted). The sun sets too early, the mornings are too cold, and the constant smell of dampness out near our clothesline reminds of me of musty old motel rooms and my car that once stunk to high heaven after the kids left the windows down during a storm a few years ago.

Things just don't ever seem to run smoothly for us in winter either.

June and July never fails to deliver us a dose of bad luck... but then on second thoughts...r maybe that's because I have come to expect it from those months and so the universe being so giving and all that doesn't want to disappoint me and even chucks in a set of free steak knives in the form of... no... I don't even dare to give it any ideas.

I'm a Spring kind of gal through and through. The new green growth, the smell of blooming Jasmine, the hint of a warm breeze and the promise of stinking hot zillion degrees days and mozzies to slap.

Did I mention that I turn into quite the moaner during Winter? You know, in case you didn't happen to notice and all that.

What about you?

Are you sold on the whole romantic notion of Winter Schminter or does it leave you feeling a little ripped off too?