Why I'll Probably Hand Stitch My Own Straight Jacket! | Life Love and Hiccups: Why I'll Probably Hand Stitch My Own Straight Jacket!

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Why I'll Probably Hand Stitch My Own Straight Jacket!

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Its funny how life every now and then gives you a little bit of a reminder that you have let things get out of balance. By funny I mean - no not really funny at all and by a little reminder I actually mean a full body slam.

Last week I got walloped by the flu, it crept up on me then totally smacked me when I wasn't looking. The sneaky sucker did a full number on me and left me clingy to my bed for days. Even now 7 days on I am hardly a picture of health. I'm snotty as and my eyes are as red as .... as red as....they're just red OK!

Its not a big deal really in the bigger picture, there are so many others dealing with way worse. More its an inconvenience, a pain in the ass or in this case the head, and I have no one to blame but myself.

I like to think that I have got it all figured out, family, work, life, hobbies - but obviously I am very very wrong. I have as much balance in my life as a two toed elephant on a tightrope. Not that I have ever seen a two toed elephant on a tightrope for that matter - I'm just saying!

The problem is I over commit myself. I set unrealistic expectations upon myself and I get totally carried away with ideas.

Its easy when you feel like you are on a roll to take on more and more. Ideas fly through your head and next thing you know you're starting new projects, taking on extra work, revamping a perfectly fine room, volunteering to do something you really have no time to do or deciding that it is totally necessary to clean out every cupboard in the whole house like right now and it must be finished before Revenge starts at 8.30pm. And you know what? That's totally fine to take all that on, cause let's face it you've got 24 hours in a day right so why not fill at least 18 of them wearing yourself out completely.

Sound familiar? I hope so - then at least I wont feel like I will be occupying that padded room on my own.

I have a habit of getting carried away and when I decide I want to do something, I have to do it straight away, forgetting that I probably have a zillion other things on the go at that precise moment.

I lie in bed and mentally reorganise the lounge room and next thing I know I find myself downstairs, hands on hips and in my hubby's words - giving the room The Look! That look usually means we are about to start moving furniture right there and then because there is just no way I can go back to sleep until it's EXACTLY how I pictured it in my head and that may or may not also involve me getting online and looking for new cushions or paint colours. It's a bit of a joke in our family now, when I stand in a room with my hands on the hips all the males run for cover and totally over-dramatically start saying "Look out Mum's Got the Look!" They know that look means one of two things, moving furniture or a shopping trip.

If I was a betting girl I'd be putting $50 bucks on that I'm not the only one guilty of that.

I remember once going to what I thought was parent night at my son's new kindy. I was excited to get all the info and find out how his days would be spent. Turns out it was a Management Committee meeting and whilst I should have slowly backed my already overloaded ass out of there, I didn't, and by the meetings end I had a newly acquired role of Vice President of the Parents Committee. My left hand tried to pull my right hand down when they called for volunteers and it almost succeeded until no ones elses hand went up to challenge it. The right hand was victorious that night and so was my son's kindy. They just found their vacant role filled with some crazy woman who offered to rewrite and update the kindy's OHS policies in her lunch hour - cause she had nothing better to do with that time.

My husband laughed and laughed at me when I got home and told him what had happened. I soon shut him up though once he found out I had volunteered him to be the kindy Handyman. I always liked a man who is handy with tools.

My point is though, I don't know how to do things by halves. I like to blame the perfectionist trait in me or perhaps I am just sucker for punishment, which ever way I look at it, I have a tendency to go way overboard at times.... and by at times I mean frequently.

So it is my mission to find some balance, to learn to say no and to have the sense to know when I am about to take on more than I can handle.

I need to stick to my agreed work hours and stop letting it eat into my families time. I need to stop having so many projects and hobbies on the go all at once. I need to accept that it is OK to have a pantry where all the cans aren't faced to the front.

I need to get a little bit picky about how I spend my spare time as I want to enjoy my activities more, much like one enjoys chocolate dipped strawberries - you dip, you have a little taste and you savour. Very different to my unsophisticated way of dipping, scoffing and then shoving my face in the bowl to lick it clean. I have no idea why I just used that analogy, perhaps it is my Freddo Frog withdrawal talking on my behalf, or it could just be my sleep deprived brain having a spack attack..... whatever.

I can't sit still, I can't seem to just be. My brain is always on to the next task, the next activity or writing a business and marketing plan in my head for the tomato chilli sauce I just five minutes ago decided I want to launch...... next week.* Hang on, I just have to write down the TV jingle for my new business before I forget it. I kid you not! It's a snappy little tune.

I believe that balance is achievable, I just have to figure out how I can make it all work for me. I long for the days when I just sat there and read a magazine from cover to cover whilst refilling my coffee cup numerous times. I want to for at least one day have nothing on and perhaps even get to that climatic point where I find myself bored. Oh boredom, bliss - what a luxury. When my kids tell me they are bored I cant help but break into a semi hysterical crazy woman laugh as I proclaim "You don't know how lucky you are to be bored my dear child". See its an issue. I'm well past the denial stage.

So excuse me now whilst I book myself a plane ride and a donkey. I'm thinking I need to get myself to Tibet to meditate with the monks in an attempt to achieve a totally zen like balance in my life, cause I am sure I can fit that into the spare 6 hours I have left in a day and surely that's the way an over the top perfectionest would go about acheiving some sort of balance right?


I'm going overboard again aren't I?

Clearly this is a big issue and I need to just get a life. Besides, it would be much easier just to shave my head, give the kids some triangles to chime and head out to the backyard for a bit of chanting by the webber. I figure I would then at least have a spare hour to alphabetize the spice rack before I turn in for a couple of hours shut eye.

At this rate the only balance I'm gonna get is by holding a Vodka in both hands rather than just one. Care to join me?

Tell me do you have balance in your life?
Are you an over committing inpatient control freak like me or should I just request a single room in the looney bin?
Have you seen any cute straight jackets on ETSY lately or do I need to hand stitch my own?
(I'm thinking a Nice Happy Yellow with a retro twist by the way**.)
Do you think they have Freddo Frogs in Tibet?

*The Tomato Chilli sauce idea never got off the ground, my jingle was way to similar to the Aeroplane Jelly song to ever make it.

**I may or may not have tried but failed to google a picture of a yellow retro straight jacket, cause that would be something someone with an OCD personality disorder like me may do.