"The Tooth Fairy forgot me AGAIN" stated the seven year old as I wandered downstairs on Sunday morning.
He said it so casually like he is totally used to it... which sadly, he is.
"F###" I mouthed to the husband as we eyeballed each other in a wordless battle of "You forgot" "No YOU forgot".
"It's OK, I have it covered" my hubby informed me as soon as we were out of ear shot.
"I told him that the thunder storms threw all the fairies off course last night and he went for it".
"But that's what we told him last time" I fumed "AND the time before that"
"No, the time before that was the fairy strike" Carl pointed out.
Clearly we are so on top of this Tooth Fairy thing!
Later that morning as the two younger boys were watching cartoons, Sam pipes up with "Mum, why does the Tooth Fairy always forget Flynn?"
I wanted to reply with the "Because the Tooth Fairy is an unreliable Asshole"... but I didn't because A it isn't nice to call the Tooth Fairy an Asshole in front of your kids and B, It probably isn't nice to call myself or my husband an Asshole in front of the kids either.
When I finished my Good help is so hard to find these days, and there is a shortage of hardworking Tooth Fairies on the Northern Beaches spiel, I got to thinking... How does everyone else remind themselves that the Tooth Fairy is due that night, or are we all aiding and abetting a generation of forgetful Tooth Fairies?
Who's responsibility should it be to remember or should there be a roster system in place?
"Don't Worry Flynn" I heard Sam say later that night as they headed upstairs for bed. "It works out well that the Tooth Fairy didn't come last night, because they pay double for teeth on a Sunday night. You can buy me an IcyPole at school tomorrow now."
"Woohoo" came Flynn's exuberant reply as he high fived his opportunistic brother and went to bed.
At 3 bloody something am that morning, I woke with a startle. Quite possibly it was the loud snoring coming from my husband next to me that woke me up and so I crossly began the shove him on to his his side game and attempted to go back to sleep.
"SHIT, the tooth fairy" I suddenly remembered... although how I could remember anything with that racket going on next to me, I do not know.
"HEY SNOREY" I whispered loudly into Carl's ear whilst I held open his eyelids and tickled his lips to wake him.
"Mmmphh mmmmm WHAT?" He grumbled half asleep
"Did you remember the Tooth Fairy?" I asked, knowing full well that neither of us had remembered... again.
The covers slid back and Carl stomped downstairs to get some coins.
"Don't forget the late fees.... oh and it's double time on Sundays" I called out as I pulled the blankets up smugly and rolled over eager to take advantage of the break in snoring.
I should have felt bad for not getting up and doing the duty myself... but I didn't.
I figured my punishment for being a forgetful Tooth Fairy was being kept awake by the other forgetful Snoring Tooth Fairy.
Justice had been served.
How do you guys work Tooth Fairy duty in your house?
Is it always the one person responsible, or do you do shifts?
What excuse do you use when the Tooth Fairy is a no show?
