Thursday 28 July 2016

Beware of The Sheep In Wolves Clothing

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You hear about it all the time in the school yard... girls being horrible to other girls, more often than not for no obvious reason at all.

We tell these young girls - our daughters, nieces and friends - to 'hang in there' because when they leave school they will leave all that drama behind them... except they don't, because often grown women can be worse than the school yard mean girls.

Look, I've made no secret of the fact that I choose to live under a rock in my very own little Pollyanna world where I believe that if you are a kind person, people will be kind to you.

I know it's naive and I know that it is somewhat of a fantasy world that I choose to live in and I also know that it would be easier to just turn around and crawl back under my rock and continue to live in happy denial...

Except I can't.

Because in order to establish any form of success for your business, your blog or for yourself personally, you have to put yourself out there to some degree, and that means exposing yourself to the good eggs, the bad eggs and the bad eggs disguised as good eggs.

I'm going to be honest, I've never really been a big fan of networking groups, mothers groups or the likes of. Simply because I am all too wary of the wolves in sheep's clothing that tend to circle among these groups of women disguising themselves as something and someone they really are not.

You know the type I am talking about right?

The ones who make a show of being a 'supportive & collaborative sister' when really they have a self indulgent agenda and are determined to guard any available success like a dog guards its bone.

I've come across far too many wolves in my ventures out from under my rock.

We all have right?

Who hasn't come into contact with one at one stage or another - at school, at mother's group, your kid's school, your blogging group, your business group, a facebook group you belong to?

There's always one lurking somewhere.

Look don't get me wrong, I honestly believe that the majority of the inspiring women who take the lead and create these kinds of groups, and most of the incredible women who belong to these groups, have all chosen to create and be a part of something positive and supportive of the sisterhood.

It's just that sadly, there are some women who just can't help themselves and use these groups and platforms as an arena to behave like an outright asshole.

OK so clearly there is a reason I am sitting here ranting like this yeah?

Something or someone has pushed my buttons and now I have gone and got my knickers in a twist and I have resorted to writing some kind of passive aggressive post on my blog in a bid to get it off my chest right?

Bloody Oath!

I found out yesterday that someone who I thought was a 'lovely kind person' who is genuine about supporting other women, is not quite so lovely and genuine after all... well at least not about me or some people who are important to me. It's disappointing when you make a discovery like this, when you are left with no choice but to believe that someone is not all that they make themselves out to be.

Worse yet is this 'lovely kind person' is someone who reached out to me for help and who I personally supported... and all the while (little to my knowledge) she was busy bad mouthing me to others behind my back.


Who even does that?

Sadly you see it or hear about it far too often both online and off.

Friends have said to me it is the type of behaviour of someone who is insecure, jealous even... but why?

Why be jealous of anyone or any success that may come their way?

Why waste any precious energy putting someone else down when you can put that all energy into something good, like building others and yourself up?!

Aren't we all generally big enough assholes to ourselves without needing anyone else having a go at us too?

The thing is - there is no cap on the amount of success in this world. There is plenty enough for everyone to enjoy and success breeds success so we should encourage and celebrate each other's wins, whatever they may be, safe in the knowledge that our time will too come!

Whilst secretly deep down inside I have an urge to name and shame and expose this wolf... I won't because that's just not my style.

I prefer a far more passive aggressive approach that involves reeling in shock, sulking for a while and then writing a blog post and hoping that with some luck she (or anyone else who behaves like her for that matter) reads it and feels like a big old asshole and in future thinks twice before opening their mouth and letting pointless trash talk spill out.

Wishful thinking?

Can a leopard change its spots? Can an old dog learn new tricks? Can a wolf ever be a sheep?

Sorry - enough with the animal analogies already!

Besides, I believe in Karma and I believe that what we put out, we get back - in our personal life and in business. It all goes full circle and I ain't got no time for drama. Dead set - who does?!

Let's give our young girls hope that they really can leave all that drama behind at school. Let's create a positive environment for them to graduate to and for us to all coexist in.

Support each other ladies - it's a tough old world out there and it's safer to be among friends than it is to go it on your own.

To the wolves out there -  just try being nice, I promise it won't hurt and it really isn't hard.

Keep it real and if you have nothing nice to say then consider maybe just keeping the mouth closed and say nothing at all!

Right, that's my rant done and dusted - so did you watch the Bachie last night?

Have you encountered a wolf lately?
Any advice for dealing with them?