Do you ever get that unsettled up and down feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just can't seem to shake, no matter what you do?
Yeah me too.
Actually I have it right now, and if I'm totally honest it's been with me for the past week and I have no idea why really.
There is nothing particularly wrong in my life right now that you could put it down too. I mean sure, there is the up and down stuff that we have been dealing with for sometime - my parents illness, work and money juggles, life and its hiccups etc, but nothing new that would explain how I am feeling.
Yet that unsettled, that up and down feeling - it's just kind of there bubbling away in my stomach... if you know what I mean?
I have received a whole load of bad news about and from other people this past week - from friends, family and even some distant acquaintances who have reached out. Sad news, awful news... absolutely tragic news and whilst it has made me grateful for my own set of circumstances, I can't help but think that perhaps I have taken their sadness on board as my own.
We can do that you know?
When we spend time with people who are feeling extreme emotions, we often (without even realising it), absorb their anger, sadness or melancholy as our own.
When we watch the news and see the heartache our fellow souls are suffering... we can't help but be affected by it at least a little.
On the flip side, we can also absorb joy and happiness from people and the world around us too, which of course is a good thing... an awesome thing... but how do we protect ourselves from feeling the not so good emotions of the people we care about?
I don't really have that answer.
I write lists of all the things that I am grateful for in my life.
I try to put good feeling out into the world and to the people I meet and I try to contribute to a positive energy.
But short from wearing some kind of protective armour or hiding ourselves away from the world I honestly don't know how we as humans can be both compassionate and empathetic without carrying the heartache of others on our backs.
I'm sorry for the fact that today's post is not as bright or happy as I usually like to give... but this is life isn't it?
It's not always sunshine and lollipops and we don't always feel like skipping through through the meadows singing about how wonderful everything is... and I believe that is OK.
I believe that the more honest we are and by being open and raw, we show others it is OK to admit that you are not always feeling all that crash hot in yourself and that the reality is not always that of the perfect picture.
This feeling is real.
This feeling is real life.
This is me today... maybe not tomorrow, hopefully not next week... but for today?
This is who I am today and what I am feeling and you know what?
How about you - Are you OK?