Who Do You Think You Are? | Life Love and Hiccups: Who Do You Think You Are?
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Tuesday 11 February 2014

Who Do You Think You Are?

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Have you ever judged someone by appearances or on first impressions. Worse still, have you ever judged someone by someone else's opinion?

I'm ashamed to say I have.

In the past 12 months alone I can think of 3 occasions were I have labelled people based on what I saw from a distance and yet they turned out to be something so different to what I ever expected.

Gross misjudgement number could not be more the opposite of what I originally thought. To be honest I was initially intimidated by her tough exterior and her vocal volume... actually she scared the crap out of me. But once I got to know her, I discovered that she has a HUGE heart, is soft to the core, and unlike the confident and outgoing person I expected her to be, it turns out we share a number of insecurities. Whilst we laugh about it now, I find it hard to forgive myself for putting a label on her when I really did not know her at all.

The next example of my misjudgement was yet another woman whom I had formed an opinion on based on what someone else had told me about her. Before we had even spoken in person I had her labelled as bitchy, snobby and someone I would not in a million years want to be friends with. Turns out I do want to be friends with her and the more I get to know her I have come to understand that she is simply shy and not in the least bit snobby.

The third misjudgement went the other way. This was someone who I had actually admired from afar and who from appearances seemed to be the epitome of cool. He talked the talk, was incredibly witty and always dressed like the ultimate hipster. After getting to know him, it turns out he talks more than he walks, is only funny at other people's expense and no amount of hipster labels can hide what a smarmy asshole he is.

If I was to be totally honest, I'm sure I have prejudged more than 3 people in the past 12 months. In actual fact without even thinking I label people that I simply walk past in the street. It's not necessarily a negative label nor is it a good one either. It's just an assumption of what I think someone is based on how they dress, how they speak or the even just the expression on their face.

It got me to thinking about how people must perceive me and how on or off the mark they are. Do they see me dressed in my white floaty dresses and think I am prim and proper or do they see the klutzy woman who has a habit of missing her mouth when she eats and drinks and therefore chooses to wear white because it is easy to bleach the crap out.

Do they see an organised and motivated go getter or do they see the OCD control freak who can't sleep if the cushions are not straight, the kitchen cleaned and the remote controls placed in their spot?

Do they see a Mum who spoils her kids and constantly dotes on them or do they see the working Mum who battles with guilt and will do anything to ensure her kids know how much they are loved?

Do they see a confident and friendly chatterbox or do they see the shy, and often anxiety ridden woman who overcompensates by talking too loud, too much and frequently puts her foot in her mouth?

Do they see a big smile and a loud laugh or do they see someone who sometimes uses that same smile to mask pain?

Do they see a woman who adores her husband or do they see the woman who often wonders why she deserves to be loved by a such a beautiful soul?

Do we ever see what really is or do we live a life based on assumptions? Does the way that we as individuals choose to present ourselves mean that we will forever put ourselves at risk of misjudgement and misconception?

I'm curious, are you confident that people see you for who you really are?

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