Periods, Perms, and Psycho Outbursts ... This Post Has It ALL Folks! | Life Love and Hiccups: Periods, Perms, and Psycho Outbursts ... This Post Has It ALL Folks!
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Friday 11 October 2013

Periods, Perms, and Psycho Outbursts ... This Post Has It ALL Folks!

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Let's talk about about THAT time of the month for a moment shall we.

Any gentlemen that may be reading this (*ahem* Dad & Carl),  I completely understand if you feel the urgent need to click away right now. Although Carl I know you well enough to know that you will in fact read on to see if I am going to admit to being a total psycho cow at THAT time of the month.

Trust me huni, I won't disappoint you.

I was chatting to my bestie about this topic the other day and we were trying to one up each other on just how psycho we can get in the week before THAT time of the month.

No one won our little competition, we just pretty much agreed that we are both two very dangerous women who are incredibly lucky to have men that were brave enough to want to attach themselves to us for life.

In the days leading up to my period .... I think my Dad may have just officially clicked away from this post... .... I morph into the most evil cow who could almost be officially classed as a danger to society.

My patience levels move into the negative zone, my moods swing faster than a raging 70s key party and my mouth disconnects from my brain and says whatever the hell it pleases.

Simply put, people annoy me. No one is spared from my outbursts and I become the most melodramatic hard done by person I know ... apart from one of my sons who thinks that because I didn't buy him the Woolworth's Animal card collector's book that I need to be reported for neglect.

When someone gets in my way... which is pretty much everyone, dogs, kids, husbands, random shoppers in the breakfast cereal aisle.... I don't just step to the side and let everyone get on with their business. Nooooo I let out the biggest sigh I can muster, roll my eyes into the back of my head and dramatically throw my arms in the air and cry "would you like me to lay down on the floor so you can walk all over me too".

Sadly I'm not exaggerating... I actually said that to a poor man that just happened to be reaching for the triple AAA batteries at the same time as me in Woolies last month.

The one good thing out of all of this, is that I am actually really productive during this period (snigger I just made a period joke) and I get a lot of shit done. I like to think it is something to do with my hormone levels making me all organised and virtuous, but most likely it is just the fact that I have scared everyone out of talking to me and no one dares come near me - which then results in little to no distractions.

What ever.

In other extremely important you really have to know this news ... I cut my hair off last night.

Now don't you just feel SO much better for knowing this???

I didn't actually take to it with the kitchen scissors after one too many wines this time. Nope, I let the professionals do it this time. I had a dream the other night where I had a short hair cut and I looked hot and YOUNG so I woke from that dream inspired to recreate that look.

It looks ok, far from the hot young Diva I was in my dream, but it feels good.

I have a habit of waking from dreams with profound urges to do something... like the time I dreamt I was awesome at roller blading and I insisted my husband take me that very morning to buy some roller blades because I just knew I was going to be the next big thing in roller blading.

The reality was I sucked and I ended up giving those roller blades to my husband's sister a few weeks later who I believe may have had a very similar dream and felt the urge to roller blade herself.

So back to the hair (cause that is just so important this Friday right?) it's shorter than I have had in a long long time... like 20 years kind of long time. I always thought that short hair for me would be reserved for the days when I would sit in the local salon with my fellow bingo homies sipping on tea while we wait for our perms and blue rinses to set.

I was wrong.

I like short... it's kind of liberating and it will give me back the 2 minutes I used to spend every morning thinking about brushing my hair for the school run before I decide it is all too hard and that dreadies are totally in again.

I think I might go now... this post is turning out far too random for even my premenstrual brain to comprehend.

But before I go, please tell me you go as psycho ass on everyone at THAT time of the month as I do? I need to feel understood right about now.

P.S Please also tell me that you always need to check Google on how to spell psycho too?

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