Holy Smokes - I just Performed the Heimlich Maneuver on A Chicken Sausage! | Life Love and Hiccups: Holy Smokes - I just Performed the Heimlich Maneuver on A Chicken Sausage!

Saturday, 2 June 2012

Holy Smokes - I just Performed the Heimlich Maneuver on A Chicken Sausage!

Pin It I just performed the Heimlich Maneuver on a Chicken Sausage. No Shit - Seriously! Ok not EXACTLY on a chicken Sausage, but on my dog!

This is Milly. Remember her - oh she better known as 'The Destroyer' or more affectionately known as 'The Chicken Sausage'.

Well this morning Milly decided to inhale her breakfast whilst jumping in circles and generally behaving like the typical lunatic. Her manic behaviour meant she literally choked on a Good O!

Naturally I laughed at first, cause that's what you do isn't it when you see a dog gagging and belching like a kid who was just forced to eat brussel sprouts. No? Yeah I didn't think it was so appropriate either, so I stopped laughing pretty quickly and started banging her on the back all the while saying ridiculous things like "Cough it up girl" and "Do you want a drink of water?".

I'm not sure what I was expecting her to do really? Stop mid gag and bark a Lassie like response in recognition of my instructions before calmly going to have a drink of water. Come on, it was morning and I hadn't yet finished my second coffee!

Realising the severity of the situation before me, I wrapped my arms around her chest and gave three quick squeezes. Holy Smokes! She coughed that Good O up and for a moment in unified surprise we both seemed to stand there, suspended in time, staring at the offending biscuit on the deck before us.

I looked at her and she gazed lovingly back at me with tears of gratitude in her eyes..... no not really, but if she was Lassie she would have! Instead I patted her on the head and affectionately told her she was a moron and she in return slobbered on me, grabbed my piece of toast and did a runner. I'm a hero. Yup I am officially a canine Saint and I'm thinking I deserve one of those special medals or something, so feel free to nominate me.

It's not the first time I have at least attempted to save an animal. Many many moons ago when I was a vet nurse, I tried to save a gold fish by giving it mouth to mouth. Ok I didn't really like put my lips on it or anything, but I sat there with a straw for over 20 minutes blowing bubbles into it's bowl in its general direction. The fish died and I nearly passed out from giving away all the air in my lungs. I may have been taking the vet nursing thing a little too far.

I think I'll stick to saving dogs - its far more self gratifying!

Have you ever had to perform an Emergency procedure?
Did it make you feel real important like and all that?
Wanna pretend you are on Greys Anatomy with me, or should we Be Bondi Vets?