The day can be playing out beautifully and everyone is happy and cruising when suddenly a single careless comment from someone, a selfish move in traffic or God forbid a blatant act of rudeness or egotism can flick the switch and the tempestuous bull inside of me start stomping and steaming and getting me all hot and bothered. Just like that, the day is no longer playing out so magically after all.
It's not a full vent that spews forth mind you, no where near the "You're an Asshole" type of situation where horns sprout from my skull and my face turns red as I struggle to tame the rage that is boiling up inside. No it's more an agitated, sulky, you've slightly wounded me type of mood - but one that is probably not particularly nice to be around. I know when I get like this, the safest thing for me and everyone is if I just hide out at home where I can distract myself with mundane mind numbing tasks like repairing chewed up stuffed animals or scrubbing grout behind the toilet.... no not really.
My coping technique is usually to distract myself and try to ignore the voices in my head that are having a little power struggle until I get into bed at night. Then when the lights are off and the house is quiet my mind explodes with all the emotion of the day and the all out war begins. It is then that I remember details and tend to over think other possibly innocent comments or actions and I completely and irrationally overreact.
I struggle to keep all the varying personalities in my head that are all arguing and trying to outdo each other, as calm as possible. I try to reason with them and when the parties get too rowdy, I walk around with a whip and try to regain control and restore a more peaceful if not rational atmosphere. Finally exhausted from all the conflicting emotions battling it out, I fall asleep.
When I wake in the morning, my mind is quiet and the angry and hurt voices are gone, probably sleeping in and recovering from their out of control rampage. I check around to make sure there are no lone outbursts lurking ready to take me by surprise, and then I set about my day. No one is any wiser to what played out in my head in the quiet of last night except now any number of people who stumble upon this post of course on the internet. If you are a stumbler and it is your first time here, I do apologise, I'm not normally so irrational and weird. Wanna see the pretty heart garland I made or would you prefer to check out the Hash pipe I accidentally bought my seven year old or me having a meltdown at the supermarket in Mangoes, Mayhem and The F Word! All of which are absolute proof of my stable personality.
Wow - am I in desperate need of a visit to the looney bin or what?
Is it hormones that make me flip between Ms Sunshine Wanna help me Achieve World Peace and Ms Get Outta My Way Before I Rip Your Fingernails Off with my Bare Hands, or do I just need to take up tapestry?
Please tell me that you overact at times to things people do or say that probably weren't even intentional?
Does the rude cow who cut you off in traffic make your coffee taste suddenly really bitter too or do you have some calming tricks you can share with me?
Today I am linking up with the fabulous Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT