Another Fine Example of my Outstanding Parenting Skills! | Life Love and Hiccups: Another Fine Example of my Outstanding Parenting Skills!
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Wednesday 23 May 2012

Another Fine Example of my Outstanding Parenting Skills!

Pin It I have done some pretty shonky things since I became mum - mostly for the good of my kids, sometimes more for the good of my sanity and sometime cause being a mum has got to have its perks. I still totally stand by my excuse that I thought the Hash pipe was a Genie Lamp, and I did not intentionally give all 3 of my children food poisoning. But in retrospect this time even with my own questionable standards, I think I may have sunk to a new low.

My seven year old has been late in losing his teeth and it is only just now that his chompers have started falling out.  Last week he lost his first front tooth and the gaping hole left behind meant that his other front tooth was suddenly very very loose as well. By Sunday night it was so loose the poor kid was struggling to eat and when he smiled it kind of hung with this awkward tilt - totally hillbilly style.

I tried to convince him to let me have a tug at it, but after my attempt last week to remove the first wobbly tooth didn't exactly go according to plan, he kindly declined my offer.

This wobbly tooth was really annoying him though and me too for that matter. Every time he spoke to us it kind of flapped with the breeze of his words like it had some life force of its own. WE and I stipulate WE as in he and I, were desperate for it to be gone.

The Hubstar and I tried to convince him again to let us have a go a it. He was not convinced.

We said he could stay up half an hour past his bed time.... Bumboh!

We offered him chocolate .... no go!

We tried telling him the tooth fairy pays double time for teeth collected on a Sunday night...  Still no give!

We said we'd pay him ten bucks on top of the double pay he would pick up from the tooth fairy if he let us pull it out...... BINGO!

Like two overexcited little kids my hubby and I raced around to find some string to perform our extraction before he changed his mind. WHAT?? They do this in movies and tv shows ALL the time!

Having seen this procedure performed by actors plenty of times, we felt we were very qualified to have a go ourselves, we have just never had the opportunity to actually do it. Oh the opportunities that kids bring us.

So in case you ever find yourself needing to perform a DIY tooth extraction, just follow these ten simple steps. Or call me and I'll totally come and do it for you!

Step 1. Double check that the child is really agreeing to this as a screaming child would really ruin the fun.

Step 2. Tie a length of string to the loose tooth.

Step 3. Show your child the $10 bucks and remind him of the tooth fairies generosity.

Step 4. Tie the other end of the string to the door.

Step 5. Untie the string from the door and calm down one slightly nervous child.

Step 6. Whilst telling the child he is not at all a wus for changing his mind, proceed to remove the string from the tooth and accidentally yank the tooth out in the process.

Step 7. Laugh at the shocked look on your child's face and then look on as he dissolves into fits of hysterical laughter and squeals of "Show me the MONEY!"

Step 8. Take photographic proof of the extraction for siblings to admire and reward with appropriate levels of admiration in the morning.

Step 9. Take photographic evidence of a happy toothless child to show to any authorities that may question your parenting ability in the morning.

Step 10. Pay up!!!

Have you ever had a game of 'Let's be dentists' at your house?
Ok then have you ever bribed your kids with cash?
What's the going rate for chompers in your house?