I'm Fair Dinkum Phobic - What's Your Excuse? | Life Love and Hiccups: I'm Fair Dinkum Phobic - What's Your Excuse?
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Wednesday 8 January 2014

I'm Fair Dinkum Phobic - What's Your Excuse?

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Today's post is brought to you by complete and utter randomness... oh and the two massive spiders the size of my head that were in our house yesterday.

OK I may be exaggerating a little about the size but that's the thing with phobias, they are over-exaggerated fears that can be both rational or completely irrational.

I have a collection of phobias that I have carried with me for many years. Some of them are pretty darn common to the point that I am pretty sure there are support groups run for people like me in scout halls all over the world. But then some of my fears are admittedly a little weird and most likely a result of me being far too superstitious for my own good.

My more common fears are crowds, clowns, buses, spiders and heights.

To be more specific, I am terrified of being in a crowd just in case a terrorist decides to shoot me or something equally horrendous.

Spiders scare the shit out of me, but more specifically I am scared of one crawling out of my air conditioning vent or from under the steering wheel whilst I am driving.

Clowns are clearly possessed by demons, heights make me want to puke and buses have germs that make me want to be reincarnated as a bubble boy.

Then there are my slightly irrational fears, like tinsel, the pirate ship ride and petrol pumps.

These phobias are a result of an overactive imagination on my part that leads me to believe that if I am ever standing near a Pirate ship ride, it will be the at the precise moment that it breaks away from it's frame and crushes me to death. Someone will answer their phone whist I am filling my car with a petrol pump and I will explode into a massive fireball and tinsel...... well I have no idea why tinsel freaks me out so much, it just does.

When I was lying awake the other night thinking about my dislike of feet, I started creating a list in my head of all the phobias and fears I have. After a while I realised that I am even more of a nutjob than I have ever given myself credit for and so I switched on my light, grabbed my iPad and started Googling irrational phobias to prove to myself that there are people in this world who are nuttier than me.

The result of my research confirmed that on a scale of 1 to lock me up, I'm about a 5 or 6 which is kind of a 'handle with moderate care' level. This fact made me feel much better about myself and confirmed that indeed there are definitely people who's fears are whackier than mine. Like WAY whackier.

Take for example these unusual but medically legit phobias.

1. Xanthophobics – these guys fear the colour yellow. Man my house would send them to pieces.

2. Somniphobics - these poor individuals are afraid to fall asleep. Can you even imagine?

3. Nomophobics - have a fear of being without mobile coverage. I could possibly be borderline.

4. Papaphobics - are petrified of the Pope. Not just one specific Pope, ANY Pope.

5. Deipnophobics - these guys are terrified of dinner parties and dinner conversations. I get this cause the dinner convos at our house can be a little scary at times too.

6. Syngenesophobics - are scared of in laws and pretty much all relatives. Yep, moving on.

7. Lutraphobics are scared of otters and Zemmiphobics are scared of mole rats. No REALLY.

8. Genuphobics - Knees literally send these guys to their panic rooms... kind of like I am with feet.

9. Papyrophobics - would be reduced to jelly if they ever accidentally stepped into Kikki K because they are afraid of paper.

10. Ephebiphobics - are very very afraid of teenagers. Isn't that just called being a parent?

And then there is my newly acquired phobia. I only just discovered that this is a genuine phobia and I rather fancy adding this one to my already impressive portfolio - so from this day forth I declare myself a Mageirocophobic and I have a legitimate fear of cooking.

For Reals!

Have you got any phobia or irrational fears? Come on spill the beans!