Five Skeletons From My Closet | Life Love and Hiccups: Five Skeletons From My Closet
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Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Five Skeletons From My Closet

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So the gorgeous Jane over at Almost Jane fessed up five things she wouldn't normally tell us the other day. You can read Jane's post here to have a little nosey at the skeletons she keeps in her closet. But before Jane ended her post, she nominated me to share five things I wouldn't normally tell you guys.

Hmmmm now there isn't a lot really I'm NOT prepared to share with you guys, because ... I mean I am pretty much an open warts and all book really. But not being one to shy away from a challenge, I did manage to dig up five skeletons of my own to share with you.

However .... if my kids are reading.... none of this is true boys.

Mummy was just kidding - I would NEVER do anything like that ;)

1. I watched every episode of Jon and Kate Plus Eight. I even followed them on Facebook. As tragic as that show was I was fascinated by such a large family and how they managed to to run things every day. I along with a so many was totally gutted when that family split up and spent hours googling to find out what happened.

I cannot believe I just admitted that to you!


I can do better.

2.  I was once asked on a date with this guy and I said yes to him, the only thing was I spent the day of my date having fun with my girlfriends and by the time evening rolled around I no longer wanted to go out with him because I wanted to go out with my friends instead.

We were all applying some kind of green face masks to our faces and doing our nails when one of my friends reminded me that I hadn't yet cancelled on this guy and he was due in like ten minutes.

We raced outside, me with a gold bra top on and our face masks still in tact and we hid in the bushes across the road from my house whilst one of my friends stood in the driveway waiting for him to arrive.

When he turned up she intercepted him and spun him some story about being my sister and that I was inside getting back together with my ex boyfriend and therefore couldn't go out with him.

Not happy with being told by my (pretend) sister that he was being stood up he wanted confirmation from me and so he knocked on our front door. When my poor unsuspecting mum answered the door he explained what my 'sister' had told him and she was livid - and rightly so. She screamed for me to show my face immediately.... and reluctantly I along with 3 green faced friends emerged from the bushes to face the firing squad.

I felt awful for this poor guy. Truly awful and I swore I would never ever do anything so mean to any guy ever again. To my credit, I haven't but I still feel so bad about that night 204 years later.

3. When I was 14 a friend and I had this really dumb idea to go and decorate some cars with flour water and toilet paper.  I have no idea why we even thought of this. I'm pretty sure we must have seen it done in a movie or something and it looked like harmless fun. *Ahem* WRONG!

We had a great old time flour bombing a few cars and then went home to bed blissfully aware of what the next day held for us.

Morning came and I woke to two totally furious frothing at the mouth parents. It seemed that one of the cars we ahhh decorated belonged to a detective and he watched the entire thing before following us home and leaving a note and a police business card with instructions for my parents to call him.

We got busted. BIG time busted.

4.  In my first full time job after school, I worked as a vet nurse and I had a junior colleague who I resented for being lazy and not caring enough about the animals we were looking after.

I wanted to prove a point and so one morning someone brought in a magpie which died shortly after arriving (RIP Maggie). I propped that poor dead bird up on a branch in a cage and instructed this girl to change the cage and feed the bird. I did this every day, twice a day for 4 days before I finally pointed out to her she was feeding a dead bird and that she had been too lazy to notice.

The poor girl was humiliated and I felt really bad .... for the bird, not for her.

5. When I was in Year Nine I was suspended from school for a week for shooting a guy in the leg with a home made popcorn gun.

It was one of those hose and rubber glove jobs where you shoot raw popcorn pellets. The guy was a real asshole who relentlessly teased me and so one morning after he finished making fun of me, I shot him close range in the leg and the popcorn pellet actually embedded so deep he had to go to hospital to have it removed.

Was I sorry? Not really. I still stand by my belief that the guy was a complete tosser and deserved it for being so mean.

Alright, there you go. Now you know I am a closet TLC watcher with a history for humiliating and shooting guys who piss me off with a popcorn gun.

Clearly I went through a delinquent phase in my early teens and made some dodgy choices but in my defence I am proud that I maintained such a high sense of justice on behalf of the animal kingdom.

All I can hear in my head is my Mum saying to me "You'll get yours one day Sonia".

I'm so sorry Mum... but pretty please tell me you were kidding about the "you'll get yours" part.
With three boys of my own now I am suddenly feeling very very nervous.

My turn to nominate some fellow bloggers to dish some dirt on themselves now and my lucky victims are;

Anything you feel like confessing my child? 
You are among friends and we wont judge. 
Will we laugh? Yes most likely but will we judge you? Not a chance!