Silver Linings Definitely Exist! | Life Love and Hiccups: Silver Linings Definitely Exist!
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Tuesday 12 February 2013

Silver Linings Definitely Exist!

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Something I don't really talk about a lot on this blog is my job. I've told you I am a full time working mum but that is all you really know about it right?

It is not an oversight on my behalf, it is intentional as I do not want my work to define who I am.

For years I did let it define me and in my mind I was nothing if I was not successful at my job.

But that was B.A. (Before the accident)

My job is a National role and before the accident I spent week after week after week,  jumping on and off planes. It was exhausting both physically and emotionally and not just on me.

It was my husband who had to care for the kids whilst I was gone. He was solely responsible for feeding them, bathing them, and getting them to school and kindy. All normal parenting stuff, but he was pretty much living the life of a single parent and doing it all completely on his own.

It was hard on the kids too. Every time I would kiss them goodbye, they'd cling to me and they would cry and once I was out of eyesight, I would cry too. It used to break my heart to leave them, but it was my job, and it was just the way it had to be.

It was very much a non traditional role reversal that took place in our family, in that my husband stayed home and cared for the kids while I went out to work.

You may or may not be surprised to hear that he actually copped a fair amount of flak for being a stay at home Dad, and the judgment often came from people you would least expect it from. I think it was mostly ignorance that caused anyone to judge him unfavourably. Some male peers even had the gall to call him lazy. INSANE right? Anyone who has stayed at home with kids KNOWS it is pretty much the toughest job you can do and that often in comparison, going to work for the day is a walk in the park.

He was far from lazy - he was an outstanding Dad and primary carer and our boys were truly blessed to have their Dad at home with them for that period of time.

For many years I allowed my job to take priority. I lived to work rather than worked to live and I had zero work/life balance. No one ever asked me to skew the balance in favour of my job, not directly anyway. It was just something I just allowed to happen and Lord know how long I would have allowed it to carry on had it not been for fate intervening with some busted up legs.

These days, we are both working full time and I don't have to travel often at all. The accident made it physically impossible for me to continue with the travel schedules I used to have.

I still work very hard, but I have a balance in my life that didn't exist previously. You could even go so far to say I actually have more of a life now then I did prior to the busted up legs. Love them Silver linings!

When people ask me if I am bitter about the accident, I can honestly cross my heart, and say no, no I am NOT bitter. Of course I would be lying if I said the physical and psychological pain doesnt get to me, but I prefer to bask in the glow of that shiny lining. The fact that it enforced an end to my exhausting travels, and gave me back that precious time to spend with my family makes it a gift rather than a catastrophe.

Fate had a different path planned for me that day, how on earth could I be bitter about that?

This week I am on a rare interstate trip for work and I desperately miss my family - every single minute of the day. I missed them before I even left home.

I know it is easy to feel envious of our partners who have to travel for work, envious that they get to escape for a while and avoid the chaos of home duties. But before you envy them, think about this -  most of them (granted - not all) but most, would trade anything to be home with you to help tuck the kids into bed and kiss them goodnight.

Is the grass greener? Not always.

Are there really Silver Linings in shitty circumstances? Hell Yeah! More often than you realise.

What Silver linings have you spotted lately?