How to be a Procrastinating Wanker .... AND Kill Fruit Flies! | Life Love and Hiccups: How to be a Procrastinating Wanker .... AND Kill Fruit Flies!
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Thursday 28 February 2013

How to be a Procrastinating Wanker .... AND Kill Fruit Flies!

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I wasted at least 10 minutes of my life yesterday trying to catch Fruit Flies. Yep 10 minutes I will never get back again, spent trying to swat, grab, spray and squash those painful little .... ##$#$!

We never usually have too much of a problem with these things because the fruit in our house doesn't usually last longer than 5 minutes. Ok slight exaggeration, but it does get eaten very quickly so I have no idea why all of a sudden we woke up to find loads of these little gnats swarming around our kitchen.

I can only presume they got stuck into the vodka and all the stuff that I cant have whilst I'm on this diet and then decided to invite their friends around for one hellava fruit fly orgy.

And then have babies.

So after I wasted those precious 10 minutes of my time unsuccessfully trying to kill these things, I did what every good procrastinating girl who should be working and doing laundry and loads of other more pressing tasks does ..... I wasted another 10 minutes Googling how to annihilate these suckers and then yet another 10 minutes making a Fruit Fly trap.

Oh but not just any fruit fly trap. If this little baby was going to reside in my kitchen, it had to look half decent.

And so I decided to spend yet another 10 minutes putting together my pretty Death Trap and then to be a complete wanker .....  I proceeded to take some photos so I can blog about it.

Can you tell this diet is making me a little loopy?

Actually don't answer, just admire my Fruit Fly trap and congratulate me on being environmentally friendly and humane.

Oh and let's not mention the part about how I didn't read that you need apple cider vinegar and therefore my fruit fly trap was really nothing more than a pretty jam jar with vinegar in it... OK!

I can hear those fruit flies mocking me.

So if you want to make a Fruit Fly Trap that actually works, here's what you need.

* A jar of some sort *
* A square of plastic (I used a Glad sandwich bag and cut a square out) *
* A rubber band *
* and some APPLE CIDER vinegar (not freaking home brand white vinegar) *


Simply put some of the vinegar in the jar.

Cover it with the plastic and make sure you tightly wrap a rubber band around the top. 
You don't want those little suckers getting out and having sex in your kitchen.

Poke a whole in the top because the idea is they fly into the jar to get to the vinegar and because they are intelligently challenged (DUMB) gnats, they cant get out again.

Pretty your jar up with some raffia or ribbon and place it next to your fruit bowl. 
Then grab your camera and proceed to photograph and blog the crap out of this inane little project.

And that dear friends is all the time we have for wanking today. I have a shitload of real work to do!

** Unfortunately NO Fruit Flies were harmed in the making of this blog post. Most likely because I used the WRONG BLOODY VINEGAR!!!!!!

 How do you like to spend your procrastination time?