Maybe It's Their Problem - Not Mine? | Life Love and Hiccups: Maybe It's Their Problem - Not Mine?

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Maybe It's Their Problem - Not Mine?

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Nothing bursts my bubble like being snubbed by someone.

You know the feeling I am talking about? You walk past someone in the shops and wave a big friendly hello only to have them toss a weak nod in your direction and continue on their way.

Or how about when you ring someone and they are short and sharp and off the phone before you even have a chance to get to the point of why you were calling?

What about an unanswered text or email or an invitation that gets ignored?

All of these things have at one stage or another, often many times, caused me to get a big old case of the sads and start on the old self assault routine. What did you do this time Sonia? What did you say? What DIDN'T you do that you said you would do? WHY DON'T THEY LIKE ME ANYMORE????

Before I know it, the bubble has burst, I have let the bitchy voices in my head take up residency and I am full of self loathing.

But why?

What if the woman that snubbed me at the shops was simply in a hurry to get somewhere? Maybe she realised she left the oven on or forgot to pick up a kid. Maybe she had sneezed and had a wee accident (pun intended) and was on her way to the bathroom?

It happens!

And maybe the person that is short and sharp on the phone has just stabbed their finger with a knife whilst chopping fruit for screaming kids and she was busy not getting blood all over the apple. Or perhaps they were trying to score free Rolling Stones tickets on the radio and an incoming call at the precise moment is tying up their phone line and ruining their chances.

What if that person who unliked me on Facebook or instagram was just decluttering their feed or simply didn't feel like following me anymore and it wasn't because they thought my super awesome banana bread I posted and boasted was the most pathetic banana bread they had ever seen and think that I am the suckiest mother ever because God forbid I make banana bread for my kids with gluten in it?

And perhaps the person that hasn't returned a text or email is just really busy or really bad at responding to texts and emails. Maybe they do what I do which is look at the text when I am flat out, promise myself I will respond and then promptly forget all about it until I bump into them and feel like a major asshole when I remember?

I am a pro at doing this so why would I assume they aren't?

OK so there has been an occasion or two where I just know it is because of something I have done - like how I know the Mum whose son was in my son's soccer team 8 years ago, still to this day doesn't talk to me anymore because she heard me call her husband a chauvinistic pig when I thought no one was listening. I deserve to be snubbed by her.

But as for all the other times I am left questioning whether I have done something wrong or offended someone - I'm thinking the simple thing to do would be to just ask them - "Are you OK? Have I done something to upset you?"

If they say no then leave it at that and stop trying to convince myself that they are just being polite and are really at this moment making a voodoo doll with my face on it and preparing to stab it full of pins... or something like that.

I need to tell the bitchy voices in my head to can it and take a flipping hike because they aren't helping anyone - not me, not those around me and not the woman with the weak bladder who accidentally snubbed me in the shopping centre and hasn't even thought about it since.

Here's a thought - maybe they really are just having a bad day.

Maybe, just maybe it's their problem and not mine to take on board.

Do you do this too? You know over think things like this?
Has a snubbing ever left you feeling like a poo on a pavement?