Repeat Offender | Life Love and Hiccups: Repeat Offender
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Thursday 19 February 2015

Repeat Offender

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Sometimes I do things and I end up just shaking my head at myself and thinking WTF? Because the WTF things I do are usually things that I have done before and said I would never do again.

I think you call it being a repeat offender... or something like that.

I categorise the repeat offences you know.

Oh yes I do!

Some of them fall under the 'meh' category, which are no biggie really, just annoying little things that I should know better but still go ahead and do anyway.

But then there is the 'head slapper' category and these are when I take something that was mildly meh, multiply it by a zillion times and turn it into something that makes me slap my head in frustration at myself.

Am I making any sense at all?


Let's look at some of the 'meh' and the 'head slappers' things I have done this week.

Meh: Heading off to bed at 9pm for an early night and some much needed sleep but sitting in bed until 12pm catching up on Vanderpump Rules, Housewives of Beverly Hills and Leanne and Eddie instead.

Head Slapper: Finishing watching the above TV shows and then sitting in bed until 1.30 am stalking googling the home of Lisa Vanderpump, if Tom and Ariana are engaged and has Lisa Richards fallen off the wagon, and then waking up feeling dog tired and swearing I won't ever do that again.

You are kind of getting the idea right?

How about this one then...

Meh: Promising myself I will have a quiet week this week and then saying yes to not one but two evenings out.

Head Slapper: Berating myself for staying up late watching reality TV, going out for two nights and then saying yes to two more nights out next week when I know that Real Housewives of Melbourne starts on Sunday night and Revenge starts on Monday night and I am probably going to sit up and google them until 1.30am too.

Are you slapping your head yet?

I am.

Meh: Washing a grubby cushion cover and then realising that being so clean it now makes all the others look grubby so I decide to wash ALL the cushions covers in the house.

Head Slapper: Putting the now clean cushions back on the couch and then deciding that I don't really like where the couch is placed anymore so I attempt to rearrange the room but when I move the couch I see that the floor underneath is insanely filthy so I scrub that before trying to move the couch into the new position before realising that I have actually tried this position before and it doesn't work so I have just wasted nearly 2 hours and 2 buckets of sweat moving furniture around for no reason and I move it all back to where it started.

It's OK. Go ahead and slap your head on my behalf.

I'll wait.

Meh: Being committed to eating healthily this week but then giving in to their pleas and joining the kids in a round of coke slushies on the way home from the shops.

Headslapper: Upgrading the slushie to King size with popping candy because it's only a dollar extra and then grabbing a 6 pack of Krispy Kremes for us to munch on too.

I just don't learn do I?

But then what about this one...

Meh: Promising the family a nice Indian feast for Valentine's Dinner even though I knew full well I probably couldn't be arsed when Valentine's day comes around to spend all day cooking dhals and curries.

Headslapper: Instead of just biting the bullet and taking my ambitious butt into the kitchen and cooking, I spend Valentine's Day rearranging kid's bedrooms and cleaning the house before remembering the Indian meal at approx 4.55pm when the kids start talking about how excited they are for their Indian dinner and so I go and spend over a hundred bucks on dahls, curries and papadams just so I keep my promise.

Worse still - it gives two of them diarrhoea.

Slammed that one out of the ball park didn't I?

Have you had any Meh and Head Slapper moments this past week?
Please - do share.

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