Now or Never... Whenever | Life Love and Hiccups: Now or Never... Whenever
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Tuesday 9 June 2015

Now or Never... Whenever

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I cannot believe that it was 2 years ago that I was sitting in Bali soaking up the most fabulous midlife crisis that ever existed... not that I have much to compare to as I have only ever had the one midlife crisis to date, but I expect as far as fabulous midlife crises go... it was right up there with the best of them.

Two years ago I turned 40 and the mere thought of reaching that specific age terrified the bejeezus out of me.

I am not even kidding when I say 'terrified'... because I mean terrified in one of those over the top hand flapping in an exaggerated kind of way.

I felt like I had reached the halfway point in my life, (should I be lucky enough to live to 80 of course) and I really wasn't sure that I was doing what I should be doing with my life or which direction I should be taking for the next forty years or so.

I knew without a doubt that my heart had found its home within the heart of my soul mate, and that together we had brought life to the little souls destined to be a part of our story.

But deep in my heart there was doubt surrounding my choice of career and that doubt was enough to fuel the decision to quit my job and take a gamble on doing something that would truly make me happy for the rest of my life.

I had no idea what that something would be. And to be truthful, I still don't because something evolves as I evolve.. but that is OK, you know?!

It's OK to change directions as you go.

Now or never.

Those were the words that kept playing over in my head, like there was some kind of time limit on when I needed to make my big decision about the rest of my life. An invisible clock insidiously ticking closer and closer to the moment that the hands would meet and the window for change would close.

I now know that is not the case.

Now or never is merely a concept of time, an urgency that we create for ourselves.. generally out of our own fear.

"Do it now or never do it at all."

Pressure much?

It is the same sort of pressure that breeds hesitation, like the hesitation you have when you stand on the edge of the diving board willing yourself to leap into the air between you and the water. The very same hesitation that strikes you in the pit of your stomach, stealing your breath and paralysing you from moving forward or back.

It is fear that feeds the 'never' in the now or never and makes 'never' feel like the more comfortable choice.

The safest choice.

Taking that leap and quitting my job was the catalyst for huge change in my life. It was the one single decision that forever more removed the 'never' from my options.

'Now' no longer has the urgency I once felt around it.

'Now' can actually be whenever I am ready.

Those dreams can come to life whenever I am ready.

Just as long as I consciously choose to leave 'never' out of the equation, there are no more time limits on those dreams and the window is always open.

Today I turn 42. FORTY TWO!

That number still scares me, but I can confidently say I am doing with my life what my heart tells me I should be doing, and I will continue to do the things I dream of doing... not now or never...

I'll do them whenever.

Whenever I am ready.

What would you choose to do with your life if fear and 'never' were no longer part of the equation?

What major life change would you love to make today, right now, right this very minute?